Why Helping Teens Build Sustainable Motivation Makes a Difference in School and Life

A lot of my writing - including Can You Help me Give a Sh*t? - focuses on the importance of building sustainable motivation to learn. What do I mean by sustainable motivation? Well, it's not the quick hits of panic that give a boost to cram for a test or stuff yet one more thing into an overfull day. And it's not the slowly draining motivation that can come from people pleasing and meeting other people’s expectations. Instead, it's the kind of motivation to learn, act, and take responsible risks that gives energy in both the short and long term, the kind that’s more like stringing together several nights of good sleep than downing a few shots of espresso.

In psychological literature, this is referred to as "autonomous motivation," and if you want to learn more about it you can google "self-determination theory" (SDT) and get a ton of useful insight. SDT points out that people need to feel "competence" (like they have or can build relevant abilities), "relatedness" (like they have authentic relationships and a sense of belonging with people who can help them succeed), and "autonomy" (like they have meaningful choices), if they want to be persistently motivated to pursue a goal in a way that builds, rather than detracts from, their well-being.

However, in conversations with educators, parents, and teens, my colleagues and I noticed the terms from SDT, especially "autonomous motivation" and "relatedness" just aren't very sticky. Once we started describing it as The ABCS of motivation, it became a lot easier to remember. And being easy to remember matters, because it's not something you build once and then set aside -- it's a useful diagnostic to pull out any time you notice motivation is flagging, whether it's your own or that of the teens you care about.

Building sustainable motivation is crucial for teenagers as it plays a significant role in their academic success and overall well-being. So how do you do that?

Believing in Abilities

One of the key factors in building sustainable motivation is fostering a belief in one's abilities. When teenagers have confidence in their skills and talents, they are more likely to take on challenges and persevere through obstacles. So it's unsurprising that most parents, educators, and mentors try to encourage and support teens in recognizing their strengths and potential.

It can be tricky, however, to provide constructive feedback and create opportunities for growth. When this is received well, adults can help teens develop a growth mindset. This mindset promotes the understanding that intelligence and abilities can be developed through effort and practice. When teens believe that their abilities can improve over time, they are more likely to approach tasks with enthusiasm and resilience. (Remember this isn't a one-size-fits-all solution; it's worth being selective about where and why we develop our growth mindset. Not everyone has to get good at everything just because they can -- but helping teens spot where they're artificially limiting themselves from success in an area that does matter to them because they're convinced they just aren't good at it can be helpful.) However, to do that, teens need...

A Sense of Belonging

In practice, my colleagues and I have found that feeling a sense of belonging is the critical foundation to sustainable motivation. Teenagers who feel connected to their peers, teachers, and community are not only more likely to be motivated generally, they're specifically more likely to be open to learning with people they trust. If an educator or parent tries to jump straight to helping a teen build their abilities -- whether they're academic abilities or more general life skills -- without building a strong relationship first, their efforts are likely to fail.

Additionally, when teens feel connected to their peers, they're more interested in learning with them. When adults and students create a safe and inclusive space, teens are more likely to feel comfortable expressing themselves, seeking help when needed, and engaging in meaningful interactions. When teens feel like they belong, they are more likely to be motivated to participate actively in their education.

Meaningful Choices

Allowing teenagers to have meaningful choices in their education and personal pursuits is essential for sustainable motivation. When teens have a say in what they learn, how they learn, and what goals they set for themselves, they develop a sense of ownership and autonomy.

Parents and educators can provide opportunities for teens to explore their interests, set goals, and make decisions about their learning path. This could involve offering a variety of elective courses, encouraging extracurricular activities, or allowing for project-based learning. By giving teens the freedom to make choices aligned with their passions and goals, they are more likely to be motivated and engaged. Additionally, and perhaps more importantly, empowering teens to use their voice and agency also takes the burden of of the adults around them to find and implement the solutions. Even if teens arrive at the exact same idea that the adults would have, it will be far more successful just because they feel real ownership in both the invention and the implementation.

Conclusion

Helping teens build sustainable motivation is vital for their success in school and life. By fostering a belief in their abilities, creating a sense of belonging, and providing meaningful choices, adults can empower teenagers to not just succeed in school, but thrive, both now and in their future life. Adolescence is a powerful time of growth, and wasting that opportunity not only leaves students suffering in the moment, it blocks them from developing the skills to learn, connect, and make decisions they will need throughout their lives.

Note: Some of this content is adapted from Can You Help MeGive a Sh*t?, which comes out spring of 2024. For powerful stories directly from students about what abilities, belonging, and choices look like in action, and how parents and educators can support teens in building them, please subscribe below to be notified when the book is ready to order!